My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
