He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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