well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
