i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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