shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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