i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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