There is no way he is gay with that hair.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
