so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
