I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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