Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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