Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
