your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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