first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
