Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
