Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
