no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
