Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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