Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
