Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
