I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
