I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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