If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
BRING THE BAGELS
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize