i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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