I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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