i wish there were pregnant emoticons
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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