I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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