Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
