kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
