i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
