i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
