Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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