You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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