I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize