that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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