i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
