Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize