I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
