Jerry, you need to find god
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
