Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
