shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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