There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
