I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize