Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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