drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
