1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
