none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
