he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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