Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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