6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
