I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
