woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
