I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
