He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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