Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
