you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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