Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize