He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I made him laugh his dick is mine
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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