Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
