happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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