i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
found the other keg... it's in the tree
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
