i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
