Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
