i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
