sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
