There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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